Health – Page 3 – The Creative Salad

Yes, these are Maternity Clothes and, No, I’m Not Pregnant

Why do we feel scared to talk about fertility issues in public places?

Almost every woman I know has a story to tell. Friends and family who have tried to get pregnant for years, who have miscarried. Again and again. Once, twice, three times.

We are not alone, yet we feel alone.

At what point do we stand up and say, “I’m having trouble getting (staying!) pregnant. I feel worn down and exhausted from months and months of being stuck in the first trimester with nothing to show for it.”

We don’t really talk about it, do we?

I, for one, have never talked about it here on my blog. A huge, giant (!!) part of my life over the past four years that you don’t know about. Because I’ve never had the courage to write about it before.

I’ve often wondered, how many times do I have to miscarry before I feel ready to share it with you? I’ve brushed aside the urge, telling myself that I’ll write about my journey once I have good news, once I make it to the second trimester.

Well, what if I never get to the second trimester again? I’m not saying this looking for reassurance because, quite frankly, neither you nor I can offer any. I may never have another baby again. But we will try and try again because I am willing to do anything to be pregnant again, to give our daughter a sibling, to bring another Spritzer Leyba into this world.

Through all of this, I feel so lucky to have our beautiful daughter and to know know that my body can grow a healthy, beautiful baby. It is possible. I have to hope it will happen again.

Yet I feel so weary and worn down in this journey. Each month, every single time we’ve ever tried, an egg has been fertilized. Yet only once in my life have I been able to stay pregnant. These chemical pregnancies, with a false sense of security as I am pregnant one week but not the next, and miscarriages are mentally and physically exhausting. How many times can we try?

So we are taking a break. For our mental well being, and to give me a rest from the constant morning sickness and hormonal roller-coaster of the last several months.

I will have energy for our daughter. I will have more time for myself, to exercise and eat right and take care of myself.

And each night I will climb into bed and hold fast to my husband and feel grateful for the beautiful life that we have. Because even in the worst of it, life is pretty darn good.

Getting Back on the Wagon

I can make all sorts of excuses.

I sprained my ankle.
I don’t have time to cook everything from scratch.
I deserve to have a margarita and a chocolate bar tonight. And tomorrow night too.

It won’t really make a difference, will it?!

Evidently those little changes really add up because I’ve gained five pounds this month. I’m not surprised, just disappointed that I gained so much so easily and will now have to work so hard to lose that weight.

So it’s time for me to refocus and regroup.
To move more and eat well.

To set an example for my daughter about how to lead a healthy lifestyle.
No more sneaking treats after she goes to bed.
Because even if she doesn’t see me eat it, she sees me working hard to undo those actions.

I know I can do better.
Today is a new day and I am worth it.

Fitness Update

Oh-so-long-ago I wrote about my goal to lose weight. Move more, eat less. It’s working; I’ve lost weight. Not nearly as much I had hoped for in this time period, but I’ve lost some. More importantly, I’ve gone down several clothes sizes.

I’m running.
I’m walking.
I’m (occasionally) counting my calories. (Not necessarily to restrict, but to be aware! I find I’m eating less when I realize there’s how many calories in that pasta dish?!)
I’m eating healthier.

It’s challenging. Occasionally ass-kicking.

I’m not going to lie. Most nights I don’t feel like running, I don’t want to get off the couch. But David encourages me to go.

Each night I come home and thank him for helping me get out the door, because after working out and having a bit of alone time, I feel great.

My health is important. There’s no time to waste.

All photos from my evening runs via my camera phone

Move More, Eat Less

All photos in this post were taken on my evening walks with my camera phone.

In an effort to be more healthy, I am trying to become more fit and lose some weight.

The internet is a wonderful place for all types of inspiration and encouragement. I like this post of Nicole’s talking about how she aimed to lose two pounds a week and used this graph to keep track of her progress (and dictate how much she ate). I like this idea of Cathy’s to move more and eat less. Doesn’t her phrasing make it sound easy? No grand gestures are required. Anyone can move more and eat less.

Last summer after our daughter weaned herself and I saw the numbers creep up on the scale, I focused on eating better, watched my calories, walked more, and I lost fifteen pounds in three months. For the past seven months I haven’t exercised as much, yet I have managed to keep that weight off. But I haven’t lost any more and I really need to. Plus, I haven’t been as active as I’d like to be. I need to set a good example for our daughter.

A few weeks ago I had this realization that if I want to lose 22 more pounds and could lose two pounds a week, then I would be at my goal weight in eleven weeks. After that I could focus on maintaining. Eleven weeks?! I can do just about anything for eleven weeks.

Here’s the graph I created: